Let the Madness Begin!

I guess I have fallen off the blogging bandwagon. I realized I haven’t written anything since my trip to PA, which was well over a month and a half ago. Summer has somehow escaped me. I can’t believe it’s the end of August! We’ve had such odd weather. June was cool and perfect for running (but not for boating I might add). July was hot and humid, less than ideal for running. August has been a combination of the two, we’ve had some cooler days, but we’ve had a handful of hot and humid too. Nonetheless, I have been logging the miles, and getting my workouts in. I have been averaging about 55-60 miles a week, every week. I am blessed to report that I have been running pain free since I started running again. I am so thankful that I have not rebounded into any pain in my tibia. I have been running in the Brooks Glycerin, which is by far their heaviest shoe. I wanted a shoe that had a lot of cushion as I eased back into running again, to ensure my tibia didn’t have any problems adjusting to the pavement again. Now that I know I am not having any problems, I am looking forward to transitioning into a much lighter shoe! Hopefully it will give me some kick.

I had a big weekend, this past weekend. I ran my third 20 miler, and I kicked off pre-season for XC! I am so excited to have my runners back on campus again! Summer is nice, but when campus is full of life, it’s much better! We had our Athletic Retreat last weekend, and two-a-day practices all this week. I've had to be increasingly more disciplined with going to bed early in order to maintain my training. As if I wasn’t already disciplined before, this required some 3:45AM days of running, prior to XC practice at 5:15AM. It becomes increasingly difficult to balance coaching XC, my day job, personal training clients, my own marathon training, and marriage! But I wouldn’t trade any of them for anything. Each if these things breathe life into me. It’s just learning how to balance them all. I am incredibly thankful that my husband is so supportive of all of these activities. I couldn’t do it without him. Thanks Jeremy!

I have much to blog about in the latest community I’ve joined (Venture Expeditions Run:Free). But honestly, that deserves its own blog. So you’ll have to check back shortly for that one!

Running in PA

My training has been going exceedingly well in preparation for the Twin Cities Marathon. I started running/training on June 1st, after two months off after my stress fracture. I spent the past 8 days in State College, PA-visiting my in-laws, the Williamsons. It was a fabulous trip, filled with fun, laughter, adventures, meeting my first niece, new experiences, my birthday, and running-lots of hard running! I could write a long blog on all the fun things we did, but since I have kept this blog as a training blog, I will stick to the running.

We left on Saturday, July 2nd. I ended up doing my 15 mile run before leaving for PA. I was extremely discouraged by this run. It was so hard. I felt like I had to stop so many times. It was so hot, and so humid, and I felt like I couldn't keep enough water in my system. But I finished it, and was glad it was in the books. I took Sunday off because we got in late, and it was raining in the morning when we got up.

The running in PA is tough! I couldn't seem to get away from the hills, anywhere. There is always an up, a down, and an up again. Monday, the 4th of July was a fun day! Jason (Jeremy's brother), Jeremy, and I ran the Firecracker 4k, in State College. Lindsay and Saoirse were our fabulous cheerleaders! I knew I needed to get more mileage in, so I went for a 3.5 mile run before the race. I ran sub-17 (I'm guessing 16:55)-which would equate to a 6:48/mile average. It was chip timed, however, there wasn't a start mat, just a finish mat, so I had to guess when I crossed the start line. I had my splits on my garmin. The first mile was fast, I ran a 6:30. The second mile had some larger climbs, and I ran a 7:10, and finished the last half mile at a pace of 6:35-this also had some climbs. It was a nice challenging run. I placed 2nd in my age group! I'll take it. I found out later I missed out on getting an award, but that's okay. I had the satisfaction of a nice hard run, and that was enough! 6 miles in total for the day.

On Tuesday I got up and ran a 7 miler downtown State College. This was a tough run. It was hilly both ways. Here's a snapshot of the 3.5 out and back course:

After the 7 miler, Jeremy was about to go on his 3 mile run. So why not? I joined him. Finished it off as a nice 10 mile day.

To celebrate, that night, we got frozen yogurt, with our own toppings. I got heath and chocolate pareils on top of no sugar added vanilla yogurt. Here are the others:

Wednesday was a quality running day. I did 2 miles quickly (7:25/average per mile). Then went to the track with Jason to do some speed work. Those of you who know me, know that I would rather do hills any day, rather than intervals. So this was a nice kick in the pants. Jason and I did an 800 as a warm up. I followed that with 5x800 on the track. This is my first speed workout of the season, and post injury. My splits were:
3:15, 3:12, 3:12, 3:15, 3:11-There's work to be done, for sure.
Here's some documentation of the work that went down:

I think that last picture was to get me to the finish line faster! Again, when I got back from the track workout, Jeremy was about to venture on his 6 mile run-so why not spend more time with my favorite person. An 11 miler day in the books, with some serious speed thrown in there.

On Thursday, my birthday, I mostly wanted to get it over with, so I hammered out a slow 5 mile run. Nothing special.

On Friday, I ran a quick 4 mile run. It was hot and humid (100% humidity to be exact-but who's keeping track?!)

Saturday was my "long run day"; however, it was a recovery day. I only "needed" to do 10 miles. Jason went with my by bike, and showed me part of State College I had never seen before. There were many hills. My garmin tracked elavation between 800 feet and 1,250 ft. Talk about some work! The route he took me on was beautiful! I ran past a creek that was gorgeous. I couldn't escape God's presence in this run. I saw fields and flowers, trees and shrubs. Hardly any cars on this road. This was a part of the Nittany Half Marathon course. I enjoyed the scenery, minus the hills ;) Ended up with a solid 14 miles. It was extremely challenging, and I had to walk a few times, but I don't feel guilty about it, it was a tough run. And no, I did not go back out with Jeremy on his long run (he had left by the time I got home).

I ran Monday-Saturday, and took Sunday (today), as my rest day. I'm hoping this gives my legs some good recovery. I'm ready to hit the pavement tomorrow in my new Brooks for the first time :) Hoping the running feels easy after a week of mountainous running!

I feel stronger, mentally and physically, and my heart is full after a week with family.

On the Road Again

I am blessed to be able to say I am back on the road again. After two months of biking, swimming, lifting, and learning, I have been given two thumbs up to start running again. After severely fracturing my left tibia bone, I went back to Tria Orthopedics for my follow up appointment. I was relieved to learn that I didn't need to have another MRI, and that x-rays would suffice. Apparently after an injury has been present for an extended period of time, it will show up in an x-ray. X-rays are much faster, and NOT noisy, like the MRI, and I got my results right away. I was able to review my MRI images from my first appointment, and saw the fracture spanning across the bone. I was then able to see my x-rays, and see the scar tissue that had built up like a cocoon (or band-aid) around my tibia bone. My doctor said that is exactly what was supposed to happen. My shin had started bruising a bit, and when I inquired what was going on, I learned that the scar tissue had forced the muscle in my leg to press against my skin, thus bruising my leg from the inside out. However, I was told not to be concerned, and that it would go away. Turns out, my doctor was right. I have been running without pain! Last weekend I was able to run a 13 miler, and a 12 miler the week before. I am not as fast as I would like to be. It still feels like a challenge; however, I am enjoying simply being able to run. The speed will come. But that is not my concern right now. It's so easy to take running for granted, and then when it's taken away from you, you realize what you've lost. Now to have it back, performing doesn't seem nearly as important. Would I like to be faster? Of course. But more than anything, I am thankful to be out on the road again.

Due to the healing process, and travel, I am doing very few races this season, which makes me a little disappointed. I normally like to do 5 or so half marathons a year, and a marathon or two. This year is looking to be only 2 half marathons, and 1 marathon, 1 25k, and a 4k (really, a 4k?!) Looking forward to making the most out of this season. I am more than blessed.

It's in the Shoe

"First and foremost, you have to love training and even learn to enjoy hard workouts. It takes ears to reach your full potential, so if you don't enjoy the journey you simply won't get there."

There's no doubt that I love the training, I feel pride upon the completion of a tough workout, and I love the journey! The process is that much more rewarding with new shoes! Yes that's right. I have made the switch. Since I started running long distance in 2006 (it really hasn't been that long), I have been an Asics girl. Not because I thought they were superior, but simply because I got fitted in a pair at a running store, the worked well, and I never strayed. Since my sponsorship with Fitsok, I now get 40% Brooks shoes, so I figured I might as well give them a try. In the past, as I've browsed the Brooks section at Run n Fun, I've always been disappointed with the color schemes. I know running shoes are not about the colors, but about how they fit. Even still, I struggled to get passed purple and lime green on the same shoe-really?! However, I few months ago, I went to the corporate office for Fitsok, and got to see the new shoes coming out for summer, I saw the new Glycerin 9, and knew that was the shoe that was comparable to the Asics Nimbus I have been running it. The Brooks Glycerin 9 is the most beautiful running shoe I've ever owned! I'm not ready to break them in yet, as I still have some miles to put in on my Asics, but the Brooks are ready and waiting.

This weekend is a big decision weekend for me. Marathon training started for TCM (which I am signed up for) this week. I have kept my mileage low, to truly ease into the program. My first "long" run is 10 miles, which I will be running on Saturday morning. I am going to make a decision this weekend. I've still been having a great deal of pain in my leg. I am going to run the 10 miles on Saturday. If I am in a great deal of pain during the run, or immediately following the run, I am going to bow out of TCM early. I just can't go through the heartbreak of training and working hard, to have the race pulled out from me two weeks beforehand, as it was with the Boston Marathon. I don't want to go through the yo-yo feelings of "I feel fine", "oh that hurt", "but this felt good". I want to make that decision ahead of time. To be able to make a decision like this so early in the season is a big deal for me! Of course, if the 10 miler feels okay, and then it hurts down the road, I have no problem bowing out at a later date, if necessary. However, if I do feel pain this weekend, I am not going to ignore it.

This first week of training has probably been the easiest mileage week I've had in a long time:
Monday: 3 mile run
Tuesday: 5 mile run
Wednesday: 3 mile run
Thursday: 1 mile warm up, 3 miles of hills, 1 mile cool down

Tomorrow will be a 5 miler at marathon pace, Saturday will be the 10 miler, and Sunday will be a rest day as I cheer on Drea Gutierrez at the Minneapolis Marathon, and Meghan Smith and Ginger Montezon at the Minneapolis Half Marathon. Since this will be the first year in the existence of the Minneapolis Half Marathon, in which I am not running, I am going to be their biggest fan, cheering them on by bike. I can't wait!

This is Why I Love the Process

I have found myself itching to write a blog over the past two months; however, each time I sat down to write, so much emotion flooded my heart that I simply couldn't put words to my emotions. It has taken some time to really digest all that I've been learning in this season, but I'm ready to share.

For those of you who know me well, this part will be redundant, but for those of you who don't know me well, part of why I love training for marathons is because of the process. I love the process of training. I love the struggle, the effort, the stubbornness, the fatigue, the confidence that is created. I love exceeding what I thought I was capable of. I love that when I run, I can't escape myself, my thoughts, my insecurities, my weaknesses, or the work it requires. I find myself as I run. I discover who I was created to be, and what I'm capable of accomplishing. I change every time I hit the payment. So naturally, I was concerned with what life would look like with the absence of running.

At the beginning, I experienced the mourning phase. Truly, it felt as though a part of my spirit died. I wasn't sure what to do with myself. I would burst into tear throughout the day. Even in my mourning, I committed to trying new activities. I dove (literally) into swimming, biking and strength training (upper body and core). I spent hours in the pool, with great friends. I went to various spin classes. I went to numerous races, and was a spectator (and a very loud cheer-er), and had a blast cheering those who could run!

I slowly realized I had been learning just as much about myself in the healing process, as I had been learning in the training process. "Training and racing have shown me sides of myself that I never knew existed. I've found perseverance, an ability to focus, stubbornness, compulsiveness, bravery, organization, a sense of humor, and a capacity for unbridled joy" (Gordon Bakoulis Bloch). This next statement will only make sense if you are a runner: It takes just as much perseverance, focus, stubbornness, compulsiveness, and bravery to wake up in the morning and NOT run. I had to wake up each morning, and choose healing. It takes perseverance and bravery to not run. Sometimes I was successful, sometimes I wasn't. Sometimes the urge to run overcame the desire to heal. Sometimes I listened to doctors orders, and sometimes I snuck in a run (and then suffered the consequences). My successful days were the ones I woke up and chose to not to run.

So, what have I learned in this season? I have learned there is always something to be learned :) I have learned that I am stubborn. I have learned that I am brave. I have learned that joy always comes with the morning and through the mourning.

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and no grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

From the Inside Out

I feel so broken. Moreso broken in spirit than physically speaking. Although I have a stress fracture, one could argue physical brokenness, yet my heart hurts more than my leg. I feel like a part of me has died, and I'm not sure what to do with myself. My boss told me today that he saw a blankness in my eyes today. I feel like I'm just wandering about hopelessly....

I am trying to find new activities to keep myself busy. I am trying a few different Spin classes at Lifetime, but I find myself getting bored. I have been swimming, and thoroughly enjoying my time in the pool. I can feel myself getting better with my breathing, and my form. Thanks to my good friend Suzie, I am becoming more confident in the pool. But it's still not the same.

This song is not new by any means. I can't seem to get it out of my mind, so I thought I would share it. It has been ministering to my soul-may it bless you too.

"A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in your grace.

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades, never ending,
Your glory goes beyond all fame. My heart and my soul, I give you control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord Let justice and praise, become my embrace
To love You from the inside out.

Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing You praise.
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending, Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out, O my soul cries out."

~From the Inside Out, Hillsong

Update: For Lack of a Better Title

It seems odd to write a blog with information that negates my previous blog. After almost a month of pain in my leg, assuming it was shin splints or a calf strain, it finally got to the point where I could no longer point to where the pain was. The pain became my lower leg. I tried myofascial release, Biofreeze, wrapping, taping, icing, elevating, compressing, ibuprofen, everything I knew to do, and the pain refused to go away. It got to the point where I was waking up in the middle of the night with my leg pulsing in pain.

On Wednesday I finally went to Tria Orthopedic Specialists to review my symptoms with a doctor. We talked about my pain, and how it had been there since March 5th. We discussed Boston and my excitement. I shared that I needed confirmation that I was not going to further injure myself by running the marathon. I realize it will hurt, and I'll be slower than I wanted, but I needed the peace of mind from a doctor to know that I wouldn't create long term damage. His thoughts went like this: "Do I think you should run Boston? Probably not. Would I run Boston if I were in your shoes? Absoulutely, without a doubt." He understood me, and I appreciated that. He understood the importance of Boston, and my dream. He decided we should do an MRI to inspect the pain. On Thursday I got the call from him. Even before his call, I burst into tears listening to his voicemail on my work phone, as he said, "Please call me, we need to have a conversation about your results." I called him to find out that I had a severe stress fracture spanning over half way across my tibia bone. And running over the past few weeks, while in pain, had only increased the trauma.

I struggled to swallow as he told me I was to stop running immediately. My eyes filled to their rims with tears as he told me Boston was out of the picture, and even walking much was out of the picture. He suggested a hard cast, to keep me off it, thus allowing it to heal faster. I asked if the cast was necessary for healing-that's hard to get around downtown Minneapolis, it's hard to shower, and then I really can't do anything! He said the cast would keep me from doing too much, but he'd be fine with a boot if I promised to stay off it as much as possible. I sat in the skyway (during work), and just sobbed. All my hardwork, since November, wasn't going to be put into execution. The 4:15 mornings, the hill workouts, the long runs on the weekends in the freezing cold weather, all the snow, the races to test fitness, all to put me in shape for nothing.

On Friday, I waited for an April Fool's Day call from my doctor, it never came. It's now Sunday, and I still wake up thinking, "maybe I'll wear this boot for two weeks, and not run (just swim and bike), and then be able to run Boston-that's not happening either. Yesterday I had a breakdown as I was about to start vacuuming, and Jeremy offered to do it for me, I burst into tears and said, "I don't want to feel worthless, I can do something." I have my good moments though. I get really excited when Jeremy comes back from a run and he tells me how good it went! We might be able to run together soon!! That makes me smile.

Tears pool even as a type, but I have to cling to this: I know that God cares deeply for me. I know that He knows how much Boston means to me. I have to trust that He has my best in mind. I learn things through the process of training, and I know that I will learn things through the process of healing.

"Training and racing have shown me sides of myself that I never knew existed. I've found perseverance, an ability to focus, stubbornness, compulsiveness, bravery, organization, a sense of humor, and a capacity for unbridled joy." Gordon Bakoulis Bloch

I found the above quote, and it couldn't have fit me more. I have replaced "training and racing" with "rest and healing" and have made it my prayer.